Monday, June 18, 2007

I Am Stronger For It

After the rain, when the sun shines proudly down on the Earth, a beautiful rainbow appears. It is a miraculous symbol of God's promise to us; A promise that he is with us and will protect us. After I cry, and tears flood my heart, I turn to him. And across my soul he sends that same rainbow. It fills me up with love and reminds me that he is with me in my sorrows. My struggles do not go unnoticed. Edward Young once wrote, "Amid my lists of blessings infinite, Stands this foremost, That my heart has bled." It is difficult to imagine as we struggle in this life that the path we are walking has been tread before. Our sorrows are not new; our heartaches have pained the souls of others; every obstacle we face has been faced by souls such as our own..... In this we should be thankful. Thankful that we are not turning over any new leaf! Others have stood the same trials. But, thankfully we have a God to turn to who promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you!" And to know that this too shall pass, and we will be stonger once we triumph through it. It is hard to understand; to know that I am thankful for my life; for all the wonderful happy times....but also, for the trials that I have and do face on a daily basis. I know that he is with me. I know that I am stronger and wiser..... and more in love with him for everything he has walked me through.....

Saturday, June 9, 2007

My Aaron

You know it doesn't seem like that long ago... Me and my brother were getting kicked out of Walmart at 2am for riding bikes around the store with my cousin Melody. I will never forget that night, we found the most fascinating toy.... A bedtime Bubba!! It is this little talking stuffed dog that wears PJ's and talks you to sleep. I wanted to buy it that night!!! I have never found another.... We had such an awesome time! It is a night that I will remember forever!

Later that morning he dropped me off at home and I told him that I loved him... The last words I would ever say to him. June 8, hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the breath right out of me. I will never forget. I stood transfixed staring at the phone. I had no way of knowing who was calling; however, for some reason I refused to answer the phone. I just knew it was bad news. Tears started streaming down my face as I listened to the message left on the voicemail. It was the voice of a NC Trooper trying to contact the family of Aaron Daniel Efird. There had been an accident. Somehow, I cannot remember how, I drove to the hospital. I felt so alone in that emergency room. I couldn't reach any of my family on the phone.... I watched as they took him out of the ER and to a waiting helicopter. He was being transported to CMC Charlotte.

Later that day, it was a Sunday, I stood by his bedside and looked him in the eyes. I swear to you he was smiling! He kept pointing up at the ceiling and tears of joy streamed down his cheeks. Aaron loved God. Heart and soul! He knew what it was to have a relationship with his heavenly father.... something that I did not understand at that time.

Those we love truly never die. He is with me. In my heart and in the wonderful memories. And though I long to talk to him, hug him, tell him that I love him, I take comfort in the times we spent together.....The beautiful memories.....And especially in knowing that he is with his (and my) heavenly Father; worshipping at his throne.

"Well blest is he who has a dear one dead;
A friend he has whose face will never change-
A dear communion that will not grow strange;
The anchor of love is death!"

Please, tell your loved ones TODAY how much they mean to you. Trust me, you may never have the chance to do it again. I remember an old proverb that states, "It isn't so much what you do dear - as the things you leave undone; That leaves a bit of heartache at the setting of the sun." Do not spend the rest of your life in regret.

My heart has ached for 9 years now..... but it is in selfishness that I long to have him here with me. Please, cherish each and every moment..... each conversation..... every moment spent together... every breath they breathe. You only get one family. It is no mistake that you were brought to life in the family you were born into. God Bless you all.

In my prayers,